It’s “Election Year” again, and my fellow Ohioans are all quite distracted by the gaudy and glorified process of choosing which candidate their “Party” will endorse for the lofty office of President of the United Stated of America. Well, on behalf of The Ohio Secessionist Party [*not a real political party] I would like to officially nominate our candidate for 2008: No One.
We would like to point out that, of all the candidates this year, No One is qualified to hold the office of President, and that it is assured that No One will treat the Oath of Office with the greatest of reverence. No One takes clear and firm stands on the most important issues: No One will end the War against Iraq immediately, and No One has a clear and concise plan to restore prosperity to our failing economy. No One can honestly claim to be free of the influence of the international banking cartel. But most of all, No One truly embodies the hopes and dreams of the people of Ohio to make a better future for themselves.
Since, as a political party [*not a real political party] formed on the basis of Ohio’s independence, it is only logical that we should endorse No One for this office, I now ask my fellow Ohioans to be sure to write in “No One” as candidate for President when they receive their ballots in November, as a show of support for their State’s Rights.
(Paid for by the Citizens for a Free Ohio, No One For President Committee) [*not a real organization]